Confusion
by vespiquen8
Summary: Ian and Anthony are both so confused. Ianthony smosh fic. Currently rewriting first two chapters at the moment.
1. Chapter 1

I sighed happily as Anthony and I watched a movie at 12:30 am. Today had been really tiring, as we had been filming all day outside in the blazing hot sun. Now we finally got the chance to relax by lying on our tan leather couch by watching the ridiculous DreamWorks movie that Anthony had picked out.

It felt nice, sitting here with my best friend, eating pizza from the local pizza place and sipping Mountain Dew. No matter how much I loved working with Anthony for Smosh, I liked it when we would just unwind and watch a movie, just like the old days when we would just goof off and were just being Ian and Anthony.

At about the middle of the movie, I heard soft snores from the other side of the tan couch. _Haha, he fell asleep,_I thought as I looked over at my best friend slumped over on the other side of the sofa.

When I got up to go to the bathroom, I stopped and stared at Anthony for a second. Anthony's dark brown hair was slightly messed up, with his arm tucked under his head. His breathing very soft and he just looked so delicate right now. _He looks so cute when he's asleep._ Wait, did I just think he looked cute again? Why am I still thinking he looks cute? I start thinking of his cute brown hair, his chocolate eyes, his pink plush lips… No Ian, stop thinking like that!

I shook myself and hurried into the bathroom. As I was sitting on the toilet taking a pee, I couldn't help but wonder why I had started thinking like this about Anthony. In all the years I have known Anthony I have never referred to him as _cute_ like that like I have been doing for the past two months. Ever since we had filmed that one Smosh video where I had to spank Anthony's butt and hold hands with him, I have been starting to think weirdly about him.

Of course, I was the one who had written the script, but I had no idea that this would have happened to me. Every time Anthony looked at me directly in my eyes like he wanted to ask me something, I would always feel nervous and couldn't look him in the eyes.

I also have found that when I was away from him, if even for a short bit, I missed him. I missed his cute little laugh, his brown eyes that always sparkled with happiness, and the way that he could comfort me no matter how sad I was. Even if he was away for only two minuets, perhaps getting something from his car, I missed him in this way. I had no idea why.

Then there was also the time about three weeks ago, when Anthony's girlfriend had broken up with him. I had let him cry on my shoulder all night long, wanting to wring the stupid little bastard that had hurt this amazing person. I should have been miserable for him, and I was, but I secretly felt almost happy that he didn't belong to her anymore, like I had Anthony all to myself, as my best friend again.

Was the reason that I was suddenly acting this way around Anthony the past two months, was because…I liked him? No, I'm not gay… but why was this still happening to me? Why did a video that was meant to be funny having this effect on me?

As I was washing my hands, I couldn't help but still wonder for the millionth time why this was happening to me. Could I really be gay? No, I loved Anthony, but in a brotherly way. But why did I keep thinking of him in this other way? I still wasn't really sure what those sudden new feelings meant. I felt like I was lying to myself somehow without knowing it, like I already knew the answer was in my heart but just not listening to it.

Shaking these thoughts off, I stepped out of the bathroom and walked back down the darkened hallway back into the living room. I grabbed the remote from the sofa arm and turn to face the TV to shut it off. I sneak a peek at the sleeping Anthony again and realized I shouldn't of; Anthony had the cutest little smile on his face as he was sleeping and all of a sudden I felt like I was blushing really embarrassingly. I couldn't help but smile at how adorable he looked at the moment.

As I stood there, I got butterflies in my stomach. Never was I so glad that he was asleep at this moment. I was also glad that Anthony was a pretty heavy sleeper, but even then he wouldn't have woken up because of how silent I was just standing there. I had no idea how long I stood there and just stared at him. It could have been five minutes or an hour.

Eventually I realized what I was doing. I needed to escape. I was still so confused about what this all meant. Did I really like Anthony more than just a friend? I forced my eyes off his light pink lips and walked quickly to my bedroom. I closed the door and slid down against it with my head in my hands, my body shaking slightly.

Oh my god. Lots of thoughts were going though my head all at once. _What the hell is all this? What is this happening to me? Why do I always feel the need to keep staring at him? I think maybe to protect him. To make sure he doesn't get hurt again like he was before 3 weeks ago_. Whatever this was, I needed to forget about it. I put on some loud music with some ear buds in, so that I didn't have to think for myself. Just as I fell asleep, I couldn't help but think that I wasn't going to be able to forget about this all that easily.


	2. Chapter 2

So yeah, when I had first uploaded this, I didn't realize I had put chapter two as one, which is why I didn't realize that later when I put the same thing up twice.. -.- So yeah, this isn't a true new chapter.. xD But I don't know if I want to continue writing this fic, I don't like it much. My writing could be so much better. But I might just finish it soon, just to finally finish it and move on.

I woke up, at first confused as to where I was. Then I remembered, I had fallen asleep on the sofa next to Ian. I remember how comforting it had been to just sit next to him while watching the movie, how safe I felt, like I always did with him beside me like that. Damn it, life was so confusing nowadays.

I have been in love with Ian Hecox since 8th grade, two years after we had met that fateful day in science class. Before I became best friends with Ian that year, I was a loner and liked to be alone. I did not talk to anyone; it was as if I was invisible to everybody in our grade. The main reason I distanced myself from everyone around me was because I was secretly gay, and I didn't want anyone to find out by becoming too close to me. It was better that way, back then, because of me being super quiet, everyone just rather ignored me; and I didn't mind, at least it was better than the truth getting out and being bullied for being gay.

Then I had met Ian that one day in science class. I did not want to work with him at first, as he was the class clown in every one of the three classes they shared together, and I was sure that I was going to fail the project. However, I was wrong. Ian seemed happy to have been paired up with the loser. He seemed excited, like I was a puzzle to unlock, a mysral. He kept trying to get me to talk, he was starting to get annoying, . There was just something about him... I wondered why I was just so drawn to him, was I attracted to him? No, not with that stupid bowl haircut of his. No way I that was, I had thought back then.

I had been very determined to keep Ian out, but I didn't know if I wanted had to anymore. He somehow had managed to break down the walls I had spent so much time putting up around myself. It didn't take us long to become friends, then best friends, and then much later, roommates. We got to know each other perfectly. I didn't realize that later that I really had been attached to him back then, even though I didn't realize it at the time. But when I did, it was 8th grade, two years after we had met. It had been prom; Ian had had a date while I had not. I remember being tremendously jealous for some reason. I then figured out that I liked him. After freaking out for a couple of days and figuring out that it wasn't going to help with anything to do that, I came to just accept my feelings for him.

Therefore, in all the years that came, I learned how to hide my feelings very well from Ian. It became very easy after a while. However, sometimes it was still hard, like all the times we had went swimming together at the local pool or when we were tackling each other, trying to make each other laugh. I had though that the feeling would go away eventually. However, I had been wrong apparently. Lately, I've been having trouble keeping my feelings in check unlike usually in the past six months. I could no longer look him in the eye without getting embarrassed and flustered. Every time he brushed up against me by accident or such, I felt shocks of pleasure go though me. I just wanted to run my hands all over him, cause him pleasure, hear him moan my name. But I knew that would never happen. If Ian ever found out I have had a crush of him since the beginning of time, he would be freaked out for sure and move out. I did not want our amazing friendship to become like one of those depressing fan fictions I read on Live journal.

I needed to see him. I yawned and groaned as I made to get up, stiff from sleeping in an uncomfortable position all night. I ran my fingers though my hair and was relived to see that it was not as messy as I had though it would be. Still sleepy from just waking up, I made my way down the hallway and stopped just outside his bedroom door.

I still did not know why I stood outside Ian's bedroom door, listening to his mumbled sleep talking. It was as if I could not control myself, I had to see him now or else I would worry for some reason. It didn't make sense to me, but I still worry about him no matter how short of a time I haven't seen him. With that, I finally finished my small internal thought progress and slightly pushed his bedroom door open. It made a small squeaking sound and I jumped back, hoping it had not woken Ian. When I was sure that it hadn't, I then slowly crept into his bedroom.

Ian was lying in his bed, all tangled in the many layers of blankets, ear buds in his ears. A small sigh came out of him as I moved closer and studied him. Ian's cheat was rising up and down slowly and somehow that comforted me. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, like nothing in the world come ever trouble him. but lately, I can tell something was brothering him. I couldn't figure out what it was. He has been so distant from me for the last couple months and it bugged me that he was hiding something from me. I let my fingers run over his lips, wanting so badly to just kiss them and taste the pureness and softness of his amazing mouth.


End file.
